


Today

by LouLa



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Firefighters, Grief/Mourning, Kid Fic, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-05
Updated: 2010-01-05
Packaged: 2017-12-09 01:31:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouLa/pseuds/LouLa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella helps Edward through an exceptionally rough day at work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Today

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Perv Pack's Smut Shack "An Officer and a Gentleman" contest. Dedicated to the men and women who risk everything daily.

Today was one of those days when I really hated my job. Today, the toll it took on my physical and mental health didn't feel worth it. Today was the hardest day I had been through in over fifteen hundred.

Today, the water didn't help to ease away the memories. Instead, the spraying water reminded me of the jets shooting from the fire hoses. The water blended with the smell of smoke that I reeked of and choked me. The rushing sound made the screams echo in my ears.

Today was one of those days where I wanted to remember everyone I did save, but I could only see those that I lost. I tried to recall the words of our Chief on how to get through losses, but could only hear his encouragements of a job well done. I wanted to forget the sorrow, the death, the pain, but it was all I could think about.

Distantly, I heard the shower door slide open and back. Gentle hands worked to pry my hands from my hair and when I let them, she put them at my sides. She formed a cocoon around me, swathing my body with her own and holding me.

I kept my eyes closed, though I knew she could distinguish the tears from the shower water, but hoping she wouldn't try to. She pressed gentle, loving kisses against my chest. They didn't soothe the ache I felt.

"Let it go," she pleaded lovingly, making aimless circles in my back with her fingertips.

"Not today," I sighed dejectedly.

"Yes, today," she urged. "You have to let it go."

I could feel her chin pressing into my chest, her eyes searching my face, begging me to meet her eyes, but I couldn't. Not today.

"It wasn't your fault," she reassured.

I smiled humorlessly down at her, still not opening my eyes. "You don't know what happened, love."

"So tell me," she begged.

My somber smile fell and with chagrin, I let my eyes open to hers. I knew they weren't the warm green, love filled eyes she was used to.

Intensely, she met my gaze, not wavering or backing down even slightly. Nothing but her love and acceptance of me was in her warm brown eyes.

"Bella, a little girl died because of me today. I couldn't save her."

"A little girl did not die because of _you_ today, Edward. You can't save everyone. You _tried_ to save her," she whispered to me, her words strong, despite her quiet voice.

"She was only Carlie's age," I told her.

Our daughter, Carlie Marie was three years old now. All curly bronze hair, dimples, and adorable scowls.

"I know you did your best. I know you did everything in your power to save her. You just have to let it go now. You tried."

"I failed. I _failed_ her. I failed her mother."

"You _did not_ fail, Edward."

"I left her in that burning building to die, Bella. I _did_ fail."

"No. You responded to a command. A command that saved your life."

I pulled back from her to meet her eyes more firmly. She was well informed it seemed. "Charlie called you?" I asked.

"Yes, Charlie called me. He knew this was going to affect you, Edward. He's been through it too. Not being able to save one that reminds you of your own is hard. But you _have_ to let it go!"

I shook my head sharply, dispelling her words. "I could have saved her."

"The building collapsed, Edward. If you would have stayed in there you would have died too. What would we do without you?"

Vaguely, I felt her hand sliding between us as she rested it on her stomach.

I sighed. "Bella." My heavy arms lifted to her shoulders and I squeezed lightly. "Just moments…" I pulled her tight to my chest. "Just moments separated her life and death. If I would have moved faster, if I was stronger, I could have saved her, Bella."

"It was her time. There is no explanation for it, no foreseeable reason, but she is as she was meant to be. You can't blame yourself for something you don't understand. There was nothing you could do."

I wanted to fight her. I could have saved that baby, if I'd have tried harder, if I'd have known.

"I love you, Edward, no matter what," Bella stated firmly, meeting my eyes unwaveringly.

Her words rang true and heartfelt. We both knew what she was talking about and knew that we would love each other 'til the very end.

Fire Chief Charlie Swan, Bella's father, had experienced a bit of a mental breakdown after losing a family to a fire. It had been a rough and trying time for Bella's family, including her mother, Renee, and in the end, she didn't love Charlie enough to stick by him in his time of need.

Charlie was still hung up on his lost love, while Renee moved on and remarried. Bella was the one who helped her father through his emotional turmoil. She knew what to expect from a Firefighter, as she was raised by one. The job wasn't easy, no one ever said it was. It was strenuous to the body and muscles and torturous to the mental and emotional stability, for those you couldn't save were always the ones you remembered.

Even on a day like today, I wouldn't change my choices. In the end, I knew Bella was right, because the most important things in my life were the ones I came home to. My beautiful wife, my enchanting three year old, they were my world and my everything. Though my job was unfulfilling and cruel on a day like today, I still had my family, my love. The days when I came home to them happy were the ones that made it all worth it. _They_ made it all worth it.

"I love you too, Bella, nothing can ever change that," I promised.

She leaned her face into my chest again, kissing and holding me tightly.

"I know you're going to try to fight it, but Charlie already put in a request for paid leave for you. Just temporarily. You need a break."

"Bella," I groaned.

"No, don't you 'Bella' me," she rebuked.

She stepped away from me, placing her hands firmly on her hips and putting on her 'tough' face. Just as I always did, I chuckled. Angry Bella was near the top on my list of 'Most Amusing Things.'

"You listen here, Edward Cullen, I'm serious. You're taking the time off. No questions. Maybe we'll take a second honeymoon. We should take a vacation before… Anyway, you don't get a say. It's done."

"Are you trying to distract me?" I asked, lazily eying her chest as it bounced around with her huffs and agitated movements.

"Is it working?" she asked back, bouncing provocatively.

A growl rumbled in my throat. "Possibly. It's unfair that you exploit my weakness to get what you want though, love."

"Hmm," she hummed thoughtfully. "I'm not exploiting your weakness at all, trust me, just using my advantages."

I rolled my eyes, letting another chuckle go, and pulled her body to me. She squirmed against me, meeting my eyes with an amused expression.

"I definitely think it's working," she said, fighting off a smile as she pressed her stomach more firmly to me.

Guilt brought an unexpected rush of bile to my throat and I swallowed it back quickly, looking away from her genuine display of happiness.

"Hey," she murmured, gently brushing her fingers along my jaw, urging my eyes back to hers. "I love you."

She didn't have to say the rest. I knew she accepted me, on the good days and the bad. I knew she would take me however I came. I knew her love for me was forever and unchanging. I knew that what ever I decided to do, she would accept and stand by me. I knew that she would be just as content to hold me in the shower and let me cry as she would be to take me to our bed and make me forget everything.

"I don't want to distract you, Edward. I'm not asking you for anything. I just want you to be happy."

The guilt flared again, this time for a whole different reason. I bent quickly, grabbing her thighs in my hands and picking her up, pulling her as close as possible. I pressed a loving kiss on her surprised lips.

"Bella Cullen, _you_ make me happy. You and that gorgeous daughter of ours make me the happiest man in the world. I'm sorry, so sorry, that I don't show either of you how happy you make me."

"We know, Edward," she hushed, running her fingers through my hair. "We understand."

I shook my head desperately. It wasn't enough. Coming home too physically spent to eat dinner with my three year old and too emotionally drained to make love to my wife was unacceptable.

"I love you," I declared anxiously, "I will not abandon you."

"I know," she replied honestly.

"How can my baby understand? She's only three. I've been a terrible father."

"You have not," Bella said sharply. "She knows you love her, Edward. She loves you very much. She knows her daddy is saving lives day in and day out. You have to _stop_ being so hard on yourself."

I forced myself to nod and tried to take in her words.

"I knew there would be bad days with the good when I married you. I knew it wouldn't always be sunshine, rainbows, and long nights of passionate lovemaking when I left that fireman's dance with you. I know, Edward, because I've seen what this job can do to a man. I know and I won't abandon you either. I'll be here to help you, whenever you let me, or ask me to, I'm _here_ for _you_."

With a deep sigh, my eyes fluttered closed and I leaned my head into the crook of her neck. Her fingers worked expertly at my scalp, releasing my tension and arousing me at the same time. Her lips pressed against my ear repeatedly, making my fingers dig deeper into her soft thighs and my breathing come more shallow.

"I'm a bit disappointed that you knew from the beginning I wasn't always going to be a stud in bed," I said huskily.

She chuckled deeply into my ear, snaking her tongue out and licking along the outer rim. "Oh, no, Edward, that's not what I said at all. I knew damn well you'd always be a stud in bed."

I growled at her words, pushing her back against the shower wall.

"We don't fuck like we used to."

"If you still fucked me like you used to, I'd be dead by now."

She laughed breathily when my hips involuntarily pressed more firmly into hers.

"I used to take you daily," I said, my voice gruff with arousal. "I hardly take you more than once a week now."

Bella smiled fondly. "You used to take me three times a day, Edward, and I loved it, but we're not teenagers anymore. Like I said, you'd have killed me by now if we still did it like that. You give me everything I need; you always have."

"You were so horny when you were pregnant," I laughed.

She smiled in a humorous way. "I don't think you mind."

The present tense of her statement caught me off guard, but I assumed she misspoke. "I definitely didn't mind. The extra cleavage had its perks as well."

She laughed at my cheeky grin. Jokingly, she shook her head. "You're such a breast man."

"Mm," I hummed, "but not only that." I slid my hands up her thighs and caressed her butt. "I'm also an ass man."

"Yes, I agree, now will you stop teasing me?" she asked, cinching her legs tighter around my hips and pulling our bodies closer.

I took my time answering, knowing she would grow frustrated. So impatient, always impatient when it came to sex.

"Edward," she whimpered, grinding her hips and seeking friction.

"Yes love?" I asked, being purposely obtuse.

She huffed. "If you're just going to tease me into combustion, can you at least let me have one mediocre orgasm from the showerhead first?"

"No," I growled.

She smirked at my possessive tone, probably finding it hilarious that I was jealous of an inanimate object. I narrowed my eyes at her while she widened hers innocently.

"You're a naughty, naughty girl, Isabella Cullen," I accused.

She smiled deviously. "Maybe you should teach me a lesson you big, hunky fireman."

I mirrored her devious smile with one of my own. "Maybe I will," I countered.

She grinned wider as I lined up our bodies, obviously feeling confident. I teasingly pressed my head between her lips and met heat and wetness, her welcoming entrance. She urged me forward with her heels, expecting me to sink into her as I usually would.

Not today.

Her grin fell and she fought against my hands, trying to get herself around me. It was my grin that grew this time. She whimpered and I gave in just slightly, letting her warm inner muscles envelope the head of my cock.

She groaned and bucked her hips, again trying to get me inside of her. I pulled out, smirking widely at the shocked expression on her face. Teasing again, I rubbed my head between her lips and bumped her clit.

Bella quickly reached between us and lined me up again. I pulled out of her reach and her eyes and mouth tightened in annoyance. I watched as a determined look came to her face and she quickly threw her head back, moaning loudly.

Movement between her legs drew my eyes and I watched as she pressed her fingers into herself, moaning in a way I knew was forced, but it pissed me off nonetheless.

I quickly pulled away from her, carefully making sure she had her footing, then I spun her around so she faced the shower wall. I pressed her into it, grinding my hard cock on her ass. I grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head with one hand. With my free hand, I reached between her legs and sought out her clit.

With my nose, I pushed her wet hair aside and I licked, sucked, and bit at the back of her neck and ear. "Such a naughty, horny girl," I tisked, clucking my tongue at her.

"Edward," she whimpered, pressing her ass more forcefully against me and fighting my hold on her wrists. "Please, I need you inside of me."

Her ass wriggled back and forth, teasing me and making me want her even more than I already did, but I had an agenda. I rubbed rapid circles over her clit, just waiting for that moment for her to stop fighting.

"Are you going to cum, Bella?" I asked hoarsely.

She didn't answer. Her lips were held firmly together, but I could still hear the sounds she was trying to suppress. Her knees weakened and her body shook.

"That's right, love," I encouraged, "cum for me. Show me how much you're actually loving this."

She tensed and her jaw clenched tighter. I kissed it. "Ah, Bella love, your pussy is so wet for me, don't think you can hide how badly you want to cum by tensing that pretty little jaw."

I licked my way from her jaw to her ear, sucking on the lobe then biting it. "Cum now, love. Give me what I want, I'll give you what you want, I promise."

Her head leaned back, her mouth going wide as a moan ripped out. "Oh, fuck, Edward," she cried, her knees nearly buckling as the orgasm shook her body.

I released her hands and they went to my hips, her nails digging in as she tried to hold herself up, though I definitely had her.

It was a strong orgasm, I could tell by the way her knees were still shaking and the red heat staining her chest. But I knew my Bella very well, and it didn't matter how strong of an orgasm she had, she was insatiable when she was in need. I could finger and lick her to a million and one clitoral orgasms and she'd still beg me to fuck her when I was done.

I didn't pull away from her as she reached between us and guided me between her legs. I glided along through her lips, her silky wetness coating me. I bit my lip at the thought of how perfect she was going to feel inside.

Bella wrapped her fingers around my hands, pressing one against her stomach and the other against the shower wall as she leaned forward and guided us into position. I pressed into her slowly, savoring the way she surrounded me like a well fitting, silk glove.

She moaned as I ground myself against her, fully inside.

"So good," she breathed.

Without a warning, I withdrew myself yet again and turned off the now cold running water behind us, pushed open the shower door, and tugged two towels free of the shelf. Haphazardly, I threw the two towels onto the bed. Moments later, Bella shoved me onto them.

On my back, Bella climbed atop me, seizing my wrists tightly when I tried to reach for her. Her knees dug into my hips as she centered herself over me. She buried me inside of her with one deep thrust and cried out as she did so. Her head whipped back and she grunted while her hips rocked forward and back.

"Is this what you want?" She asked, her nails biting into my skin and her inner muscles clenching around me. "Do you want me to fuck you?"

"No," I answered honestly.

She looked angry and confused when she brought her head forward again. I easily flipped her onto her back and broke her hold on my wrists.

I held myself over her body, slowly pressing into her again. I wrapped her leg around my thigh to show her I was serious this time. She followed with the other one, holding me securely to her.

"I just had to know how badly you want me," I told her.

Bella knotted her fingers into my hair and pulled my lips to hers, kissing me passionately. Her breathing was rough through her nose, though I wasn't moving quickly and her feet weren't urging me.

When I pulled away, she rushed out, "don't want you, Edward, I need you. Always."

I whispered my love for her and eyed the clock that already read 4:00. Alice was likely to show up any minute with my daughter and niece.

"Edward," Bella called as I quickened my pace.

I leaned my head down to her breasts, licking and sucking her nipples. She panted and moaned loudly as I urged my hips towards her at a building pace.

"Edward," she cried again. I grunted gutturally in return, feeling the familiar tightening of an approaching orgasm.

Bella's knees pulled up on my sides, clamping down hard. "Oh, Edward, love you, love you," she gasped, mewling and moaning each time her body clenched around me.

I grunted deeply, letting her body coax me to my own release. I pressed my lips to hers as I grunted again, using my mouth and tongue to silently profess my love.

All of my tension disappeared and I nearly collapsed on her. I rolled in time, bringing her with me to lay on our sides as we panted in exhaustion. My eyes fluttered closed drowsily.

"Hello! We're here," I heard my sister call.

"Shit," Bella squeaked, jumping away from me and the bed and furiously scrubbing the towel between her legs as she grabbed items of clothing off the floor. I chuckled to myself at her frantic display.

"Mommy, Daddy," I heard Carlie's sweet voice yell and my eyes widened in terror.

Shit was right! I vaulted for the closet grabbing the first articles of clothing I found.

Bella ran her fingers through her hair, as I buttoned my jeans into place. My damn shirt got caught in the zipper as I pulled it up hastily. Finally dressed, I trotted to Bella, grabbed her hips, and pulled her to me, leaving a searing kiss on her lips before exiting the room.

"Hey there beautiful," I sang to Carlie as I caught sight of her reddish brown hair.

"Hey yourself," Alice replied.

I rolled my eyes at her and picked up my smiling daughter.

"Daddy," she squealed girlishly, clapping her tiny hands to my cheeks and laying a sloppy kiss on my lips.

I chuckled. "Love you, baby."

"Love you too."

My heart screamed with happiness as I met her mother's eyes.

"Uncle Eddie," whined my niece, tugging at the bottom of my shirt.

I propped Carlie on my hip and swooped down to pick up the pretty blonde who looked so much like her father. "My, my, look how long your hair is."

She giggled as she shook it around. "We were good girls today," she told me.

I cocked an eyebrow at Alice who nodded. "Angels," she said, drawing an invisible halo around her head.

The girls stared at me expectantly and I lazily walked into the kitchen, setting them on the countertop. I opened the freezer and they squealed excitedly.

I pulled out an ice-cream sandwich and bit into it. They stared at me, shocked. "Mm, this is so good. I'm starving," I said.

Respective pouts followed and I nearly laughed. With an eye roll, I reopened the freezer and dug out another sandwich. I broke it in half and handed them each a piece.

"I suppose since you were both so good, you can have one."

Carlie gave me a sheepish grin as I handed her the ice-cream. I knew darn well Alice was lying because these two girls together were trouble, but Alice loved it. Carlie would probably tell us all about the trouble she caused later.

"Glad I could be of service today," Alice said bluntly, interrupting my thoughts.

She smiled knowingly and I chuckled at my blushing wife. "Thank you, Alice."

"Anytime, brother, anytime."

"Don't be making promises you can't keep, now, Alice," Bella warned.

Alice turned to my wife, an odd look on her face. I watched as she stalked towards Bella. I stared curiously as they whispered at each other. Alice eventually let out a squeal worthy of one of our daughters and flung her arms around Bella's neck, bouncing and hugging her at the same time. Bella just smiled.

Alice grabbed the girls, saying something about a movie, but I wasn't paying all that close attention as Bella hesitantly made her way towards me, a sexy, yet nervous smile on her lips.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," I replied, wondering what in the world was going on.

"So, I meant to tell you earlier, but…you know."

"Yes?" I asked, now feeling as nervous as she looked.

She took in a deep shaky breath and met my eyes firmly. "Edward, I'm pregnant."

The air that was in my lungs burst out in a shaking laugh. "Really?" I asked.

She nodded. "Alice says it's a boy. She told me that we have to make his middle name Brandon, after her since she guessed Carlie's gender and day of birth correctly. A prize of sorts. She then went on to tell me 'Brandon Edward' was a good name."

She would have kept going, she always rambled when she was nervous, but I didn't let her. I pulled her to me and kissed her with everything I had.

I should have known. She had dropped the hints and I hardly noticed. Today… Today was….

I sighed, pulling away from her.

"Bella, you couldn't have made today a better day for me."

Today, I let go of the ones I couldn't save and held onto the ones that I loved dearly. Today, I was the husband my wife needed. The father my daughter loved. The firefighter that I had to be.


End file.
